The use of listening skills and empathy during conversations between two people sometimes leads to good relationships and emotional intimacy.
An example of my use of listening skills is a type of conversation my wife, Louise, and I, Lawrence J. Bookbinder, Ph.D., have almost every time she returns from buying groceries.
She is usually brimming with enthusiasm about her "adventures" at the store. I put quotes around the word adventures because although it is an adventure for Louise, grocery shopping is an activity I do not experience as an adventure. She would typically say things such as:
One of the Basic Listening Skills oooooooo
One day I realized that although grocery shopping was boring and burdensone for me, it was definitely not boring for her. It was truly an adventure for her. It had meaning for her. It generated enthusiasm in her.
The basic listening skill I used was recognizing that her grocery shopping trips were important to her. This may seem obvious but it is not. How often do we pay enough attention to the person with whom we are conversing to say to ourselves This is important for her. I'll stop talking about my interests for a while and let her talk?
Effects of My Listening Skills oooooooo
After Louise relates her adventure and expresses her feelings about it, she usually becomes more emotionally settled. Her good spirits are typically sustained or elevated and the friendly feelings between us are usually strengthened.
MORE INFO: For more information about the use of listening skills in conversations, visit one or more of my websites listed below.
Empathy, Listening Skills, and Relationships is a six-page website which includes more information about the use of listening skills in conversations.
Empathy, Listening Skills, and Intimacy is an expanded version of the six-page website.
Listening Skills and Relationships is a discussion board which includes messages from me and my responses to messages from others. To read or post messages, you do not have to register. Visit the board to read questions and answers, ask or answer questions, share experiences, etc.
If you liked this site, e-mailing me your thanks will help sustain my motivation to keep it going for future visitors.
Copyright © 2002 and 2003 by Lawrence J. Bookbinder, Ph.D. and last revised on August 17, 2003. I also have a website on the noncancerous enlarged prostate.